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I received RoC® Retinol Correxion MAX Daily Hydration Creme to review for you. The following opinion about the product is my own. I have not been swayed by the receipt of product.

How many times has someone told you that “you look great for your age?” While the intention is well meaning, if you think about it, a compliment that is qualified is not really a compliment at all. Case in point: during a facial I had the other day, the aesthetician told me that I had beautiful skin and that she hoped to look as good as I do when she’s my age. I was taken aback, muttered a quiet thank you and spent the rest of the time fuming as her hands played over my face. I know she meant well, but her compliment landed like a lead balloon and left me feeling insecure and not at all complimented.

It’s not the first time I’ve heard those words. I was with a close friend at the gym a few years ago. A younger woman in our exercise class said the same thing to us. I caught my friend’s eye roll. She said thank you, as did I, but we were both insulted and vowed to never qualify the compliments that we give to others. I’ve got that worked out pretty well. But what about the compliments we give ourselves? What about that little voice in our heads that tells us we don’t quite measure up?

My mom is beautiful. Not for her age, but for any age. In a room full of beautiful women, my mom stands out as one of the most beautiful. It pained me when, during a recent family event, I told my mom that she looked beautiful and she responded with, “for an older woman.”

I caught myself saying the same thing to my daughter after she complimented me. I was surprised when the words “yeah, for my age” came out of my mouth. I’d spent years consciously complimenting without qualification – except when it came to myself.

I’m sure you’ve heard qualified compliments before, but how do you compliment yourself? Think about how many times you’ve looked in the mirror and thought, “I look pretty good for my age.” How much more self-affirming would it be if, as we peered at our reflection we thought, “I look good.” Are we afraid of seeming cocky? Obnoxious? Confidence in one’s looks is neither of those things. It’s wonderful to be comfortable in your own skin and to believe that skin is beautiful.

RoC®, the venerable skincare brand that introduced Retinol to the marketplace, wants us to change this conversation, to embrace the way we look, regardless of our age and without qualification. Isn’t that something we can all get behind?

In an effort to learn the impact of negative words, Roc recently conducted a national survey of women 40+ with the internationally recognized market research firm, Wakefield Research. They found that backhanded compliments can leave a greater impression than what’s seen on the surface. Here, some of the study highlights …

*87% of women agree that society expects them to act their age – but look younger.

* 82% of women had been told that they look “great for their age” in the past year.

*More than 60% of the women surveyed reported that they changed their behavior after being told their actions weren’t  “age-appropriate”.

*Nearly 1 in 4 women would rather reveal their salaries than their age!

*However, 88% refuse to conform to societal standards set for women their age.

That latter statistic is promising, but let’s get it to 100% of women who refuse to conform to societal standards for women their age. I’ve written about this subject a number of times for EverBeautiful.com. I’ve linked to several of these posts below in my You May Also Like Section. I hope you read them.

Ok, now, let’s change this conversation!

Let’s lift one another up with heartfelt, unqualified compliments. Let’s do the same for ourselves. RoC is on a mission to do just that. I encourage you to join them – and me – and share your own instances of compliments using the uncomplimentary modifier, #ForYourAge. Seeing these examples can help build awareness of one’s statements and inspire a more positive dialogue with others, so let’s get this trending.

For Your Age RoC Skincare

And, while I’m on the subject of RoC’s #ForYourAge campaign, I’m excited to announce that they’ve introduced a new product! Retinol Correxion MAX Daily Hydration Creme is a, oh my gosh, how do I describe it? It’s like a rich and luxurious body lotion for your face. It melts quickly into your skin leaving it feeling soft and supple. It’s a powerhouse product, crafted with the maximum level of RoC Retinol and a 24-hour moisturizing formula to visibly reduce fine lines, wrinkles and dark spots while keeping your skin feeling – and looking – healthy. Best part? RoC says Retinol Correxion MAX Daily Hydration Creme is proven to reduce fine lines and wrinkles in one week, with continued improvement each week. I love using it – alone or under my makeup – and I think you will too!

For Your Age RoC Skincare

RoC is on a mission to change the conversation. Are you on board? Visit RoC’s For Your Age Page and join the movement to celebrate beauty at any age.

And, I’d like to tell you, you look great!

Shop RoC Retinol Correxion MAX Daily Hydration Creme below – and, in the comment section below, please share a backhanded compliment you received. Don’t forget to use the hashtag #foryourage.

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YOU MAY ALSO LIKE:

What Does It Mean to Dress For Your Age – and No, I’m Not Doing It!

Don’t Dictate to Me! Beauty Rules to Ignore … 

Women Age – Get Over It! 

 

 

 

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8 Comments on “You Look Great For Your Age” Is Not a Compliment. RoC® Wants Us to Change the Conversation …

  1. Vicky
    December 2, 2017 at 9:00 pm (1 week ago)

    Pregnant and I’ve received, “you look so great for how far along you are.” I also got, “you look so big!” #foryourage

  2. Melody Lesser
    December 2, 2017 at 9:13 pm (1 week ago)

    Hi Vicky! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. First, congratulations! Second, wow! Those are definitely not compliments, even though the ones who said it probably had good intentions. I’ve heard “you look good for your age” too many times. Not happy with the #foryourage qualifier. Again, congrats on your pregnancy and thank you so much for taking the time to read and write. xo, Melody

  3. Charlie
    December 2, 2017 at 9:17 pm (1 week ago)

    Wonderful, timely article. #foryourage is heard by women and men.

  4. Melody Lesser
    December 2, 2017 at 9:23 pm (1 week ago)

    Charlie – Thank you for reading and writing! You are so right! It simply did not occur to me that men are subject to the same backhanded compliments. Well, the good news is that skincare products are also for men! All my best, Melody

  5. Michaela
    December 2, 2017 at 9:33 pm (1 week ago)

    Great article! I’ve heard #foryourage compliments for a long time and have also thought that in my own head. You’re right. Women, who are the object of so much scrutiny about their appearances, need to change the internal and external conversation. That’s where it will start. There has been so much female positivity – borne out of terrible stories of harassment and “sexual misconduct” that have been highlighted in the news recently, this is one more way to take back our power. Words matter. Thanks ROC and thanks Everbeautiful. Great post. Michaela

  6. Melody Lesser
    December 3, 2017 at 11:01 am (1 week ago)

    Hi Michaela! Words matter – I love yours! Thanks for reading and commenting. xo, Melody

  7. Harriet Lesser
    December 3, 2017 at 7:59 pm (1 week ago)

    Thank you Melody for the compliments. I am very moved by your words –especially coming from someone as beautiful as you are. Right back at you my gorgeous girl.
    Mom

  8. Melody Lesser
    December 3, 2017 at 11:33 pm (1 week ago)

    Thank you. Love you.

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