Back in 2001, Professor Richard Wiseman of England’s University of Hertfordshire, in conjunction with the British Association for the Advancement of Science, embarked on a global search for The World’s Funniest Joke! The final decision was based on more than 40,000 entries and far as I can determine, the title stands to this day. Are you ready? Here it is folks. The World’s Still Funniest Joke!
Two men are hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy pulls out his cell phone and frantically calls for help. “My friend is dead! What can I do?” he screams at the emergency operator.
The operator says, “Calm down. Are you absolutely sure he’s dead?” Silence and then the sound of a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, “Okay, now what?”
I’ll wait a few minutes while you regain your composure. Or did you dare to disagree with the international results? C’mon. Think about it, this story has all the essentials required to be really boffo. Ever wonder what makes people laugh? Take a look at Lesser’s List.
1. Surprise. Shock triggers a giggle response in most people.
2. Catharsis. Everyone has a mean streak and it’s nice to indulge it without fear of punishment.
3. Relief. Ha, ha. It didn’t happen to me.
In case you’re wondering, I made those up. They’re based on years of writing some really bad gags and trying to figure out what’s funny and what’s not. Truth is, I’m still not sure. Lots of times I write stuff that I think is hilarious and there’s no reaction. Other times, readers break up at material I don’t consider all that comical. My research stems from one of the oldest visual jokes in the world – the well-dressed, straight-laced elderly man who slips on a banana peel. I’ll bet you’re smiling at the image right now. C’mon admit it. Now check my list. You’ll see that all the requirements are there.
You didn’t expect the guy to be such a klutz. He’s old and his bones may be brittle, but who cares, he probably deserved it. Finally, there’s no way you’d trade places with this pompous rich guy.
To further prove my case, here’s another joke (not in the study) that triggers instant laughter:
Two friends are watching the six o’clock news. They see a man standing on a high ledge. The crowd below yells, “Jump!” And he does. Fast forward to 11 p.m. The same guys are watching the news again. Same piece comes on. “Betcha he jumps,” one of them says. “I’ll bet $1000 he doesn’t,” the other replies. Of course, the man jumps. “Why did you bet me?” the first guy asks. “You saw the six o’clock news.” “Yeah,” the second guy says, “but I never thought he’d do it again.”
I think that’s funnier than the winning joke. So did my husband who rarely missed an opportunity to tell it. Actually, it’s one of the two jokes he knew. He also liked the story about the gorilla and the salami. I can’t repeat it here for obvious reasons and besides it takes at least 30 minutes from beginning to punch line.
Which leads us to the obvious — a search for the world’s worst joke. I have some suggestions in mind, including the mostly unfunny, unabashedly gross gags my friends insist on e-mailing.
How about you? What’s the worst joke you ever heard? Send it to me. In the interests of scholarly research, I may share those that can be reprinted without repercussions. Meanwhile, did you hear the one about the two hunters who were watching the news and saw a gorilla with a salami standing on a high ledge? Well, neither did I, but I probably will now.
(To be continued – maybe.)
©2015 Harriet Posnak Lesser
You May Also Like:
New Year’s Resolutions by Harriet Posnak Lesser
I Knead My Mommy and Other Poems by Kittens by Francesco Marciuliano, Book Review
Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.