Harriet Posnak Lesser, the queen of wordplay does it again. Enjoy! (I laughed out loud as I prepared this for publication. You will too!) – Melody Lesser
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Medically Speaking by Harriet Posnak Lesser
SCALPEL … The top of a baby’s head.
HYPERVENTILATION … Turn down the air conditioner!
DYSPEPSIA … Dat Coca Colia.
ABDOMINAL … Like the Snowman. (Think about it.)
MAMMOGRAM … “Dear Mom. Love college. Send money.”
CAUTERIZING … Treating lawyers and judges.
SYNDROME … A house of ill repute.
ANESTHESIA … Russian princess played in the movies by Ingrid Bergman.
UROLOGY … Opposite of Myology.
SOCIALIZED MEDICINE … Inviting your doctor to dinner.
ABSCESS … Does not make the heart grow fonder.
IMPETIGO … Fear of elves.
MALAISE … I prefer Miracle Whip.
ADENOID … Enough already with the insurance commercials.
PLEURISY … Having more than one disease.
INCONTINENCE … North and South America, Europe, Australia, Asia and Africa. Antarctica is the outie.
MEASLES … Opposite of yousles.
CARDIOGRAM … “Dear Mom. Love Vegas. Send money.”
INTERN … How some doctors see their patients. First come, first served.
LIPOSUCTION … AKA kissing.
DIGITALIS … Inflammation of the fingers or toes.
BLOOD COUNT … Most people know him as Dracula.
SCHICK TEST … Used by doctors to check out their electric razors.
HISTOLOGY … Treatment of men’s health problems. (Hertology is the treatment of women’s problems.)
FORENSIC MEDICINE … Specializing in the care of quadruplets.
INJURY … Do I really have to serve?
SERUM … The best way to barbecue steaks.
CORPUSCLE … Army rank between private and sergeant.
BRONCHITIS … An illness affecting horses.
HOMEOPATHY … Fear of interior decorators.
MIGRAINE … Personally, I like wheat.
ECHOCARDIOGRAM … “Dear Mom. Dear Mom. Send money. Send money.”
Copyright 2014 Harriet Posnak Lesser
ABOUT HARRIET POSNAK LESSER
Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’sThe South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.
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Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.