Legalese by Harriet Posnak Lesser

The mumbo jumbo that is legalese can be confusing for the layperson to decipher – but not for Harriet Posnak Lesser who has her own way of understanding the legal system. Enjoy …

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Legalese by Harriet Posnak Lesser

PROSECUTION … The world’s oldest profession.

ESTATE … What it says on a death certificate.

AFFIDAVIT … Affidavit came Solomon.  (See Old Testament.)

HORS DE COMBAT…  Check prosecution above.

GARNISHEE … Parsley, radish roses, etc.

TESTIMONY … What treasury agents do to counterfeit bills.

DEFENDANT … Uncle’s responsibility.

CROSS EXAMINATION … The lawyer asking questions is in a bad mood.

PERJURY … Usually 12 regulars and eight alternates.

PRECEDENT … Barack Obama.

ALIBI … Brahms wrote a really nice one.

CODICIL … A little fish.

ALIBI… Brahms wrote a really nice one.

ALIENATION … A foreign country.

OUSTER  … Some have pearls.

ENDORSE … The last pony to cross the finish line.

MARITIME … The month of June.

BIGAMIST … Really bad fog.

ROE VS. WADE … “Do we take the boat or walk across?”

DENIAL … Cleopatra’s favorite river.

DISCLAIM … Opposite of dat claim.

DOCKET … When you’re through with your boat.

ESCROW … The losing lawyer eats it.

JURISDICTION … “Guilty” or “Not guilty.”

PLAINTIFF … Opposite of fancy tiff.

PROBATION … Know anyone who’s anti-bation?

SEIZURE … Julius, Augustus and Sid.

ALLEGE … You’ll find it outside your window.

CHATTEL … Cows, sheep and goats etc.

MISTRIAL … The sexiest girl on the jury.

TORT … Make mine chocolate, heavy on the whipped cream.

WRIT … Opposite of left.

WARRANT … Beatty, Buffet and the senator from Massachusetts.

Copyright 2014 Harriet Lesser

ABOUT HARRIET LESSER

Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’sThe South Shore Record and Nassau Herald,   The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.

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Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.