Writing this column was a lot of pun. I mean fun. If you’d like to join in, send your gem puns to EverBeautiful.com. Go ahead, be our jest. (It’s okay to use the same gems.) – HPL
Amber … “I am cold.”
Demantoids … After you ask for seconds.
Mabe pearl … Mabe Dick’s kid sister, a whale of a pair.
Beryl … Roll it out and we’ll have lotsa fun.
Hematite … That last martini did it.
Lapis … What babis and kiddis like to sit on.
Sapphire … Ancient Greek poet and charter LGBT member.
Peridot … A couple of female deer.
Basalt … What Scrooge said after learning he had high blood pressure.
Diopside … Opposite of di-downside.
Gypsum … Con men do it.
Pyrite … You know, like Blackbeard and Captain Kidd.
Carnelian … A meat-eating chameleon.
Euclase … The Father of Geometry.
Sardonyx … Buy them in a can, your choice of oil or water.
Iolite … “I’m getting off the airplane.”
Hessonite … A German mercenary.
Sphene … But not heard. That’s what children should be.
Sodalite … But heavy on the Scotch.
Obsidian … What these puns are.
I could go on, but let’s facet, this is getting too silica. Anyway, I did asbestos I could. Now it’s your turn.
Copyright 2015 Harriet Posnak Lesser
You May Also Like:
Di Modolo Jewelry: Innovative Yet Timeless
Beauty Parlance by Harriet Posnak Lesser
Harriet Posnak Lesser is an award-winning journalist and social satirist whose articles have appeared in Long Island’s The South Shore Record and Nassau Herald, The New York Times, Cracked Magazine and others.